Everything made sense and understanding washed over me in one single moment when I landed in Chicago this afternoon after two months of being abroad. The city was beautiful to begin with covered in snow. As we made our descent, I just sat in my seat smiling like a doofus to myself and getting butterflies from excitement. I almost began to cry at least three separate times as I left the aircraft and stepped onto American ground. I was overcome with a God-fueled love for my country and my home. I felt so comforted after months of being surrounded by foreigners, it was nice to see quirky Americans. it was nice to know that at any moment I could start up a conversation with any near stranger and they would fully understand what I was saying to them- no simplified English needed. I began to really feel the presence of God with me and thank Him as I heard the airport officials calling “American citizens this way!” on the way to passport control. It was such a ~duh~ kind of thing but I got so excited and felt a huge pressure lift off of me as I relished in the fact that “Yes! That’s me!”. No more talk of visas, stamps on my passport, language barriers, foreign and sometimes scary governments, unfamiliarity, and the strange solitude I’ve been feeling for a week; it just lifted off of me all together in an instant.
As I stood in line to automatically scan my passport at one of the new machines, God gave me the revelation as to why I was born in America. Occasionally, I question Him and sometimes I ,regretfully, resent the fact that I wasn’t born in another country with rich culture or beautiful language. He showed me that He had to take me away from what I ‘hated’ and from my own people whom I judged relentlessly in order to be able to love it all when I got back. When I was away, He showed me that I’m called to my own people. I’m called to to bring life, light, and the Kingdom to earth in America while I was in Mozambique for these past two months. The contempt and bitterness I held against my nation had to die (along with the rest of me) in order for the fresh seed of love for America to live. Each season of life prepares for you the next one and you won’t always know the fullness of why one had to take place until you are literally stepping on to the shore of a brand new season. God had to take me away to make me want to come back. Nothing would be the same if I had stayed here in Georgia, or Tennessee, the world is completely changed and will continue to change because He stripped me of every comfort and sent me to hang out with poor people in the dirt for two months. He knows me better than I know myself that’s for sure. I would have rejected my calling to the people of America if I had never left. Ungodly beliefs that sat in my heart that said I couldn’t be called to my own people and country because this is a “comfortable” place had to be crushed and repented of. The comfortable need Jesus too, they just have embellished, cushioned, and gadget-ed out coffins to recline in. They’re still coffins. The dry bones of America may drive Lexuses but that doesn’t make them any less needy. I’m glad to be among the comfortable, religious, disrespectful and the rich- right where my Heavenly Daddy wants me. Call me anytime and I will be glad to drink a cup of Starbucks and eat a little pastry with you but man does not live on bread, wifi, iPhones, leather boots, diamond studded watches, McDonalds, three story houses with swimming pools, and church services on Sunday mornings alone but every word that comes from the mouth of God.
It’s good to be back. This is only the beginning of one of the most exciting, joyful, adventurous, miracle filled, holy times in my life so far. Even though it’s winter and brown outside, the inside of me is blooming into a garden filled with flowers and plants and spiritual mysteries that I can’t wait to explore with Jesus.